My husband and I had the privilege of attending bestselling author David Brooks' talk last night at the Enoch Pratt Free Library. When we had a brief moment to speak with him prior to the event, I found that he practiced what he preached: he took the time to learn about us and our backgrounds, not focusing on himself.
From a personal and professional psychotherapist's perspective, I was struck by his use of humility to address a critical issue in our society. He highlighted how our youth lack a sense of community and often live individualistic lives. Brooks pointed out that society has lost its sense of respect, and moral and ethics are now individually defined. These insights are particularly relevant in my work as a psychotherapist, emphasizing the importance of fostering a sense of community and shared values in our interactions.
He opened his remarks with the alarming stats on the recent increase in depression and loneliness in a time when technology makes connection incredibly easy. He then provided his observations and possible solutions which he outlined in his most recent book.
In his enlightening book, "How to Know a Person," Brooks emphasizes the profound impact of truly seeing and understanding others in fostering healthy relationships and building a thriving society. Brooks suggests that our ability to see someone else deeply and make them feel seen is a skill that lies at the heart of every healthy individual, family, community, and society.
Despite this importance, Brooks observes that we often fall short in this skill, leading to a world where many feel invisible, unseen, and misunderstood. "How to Know a Person" serves as a guide to help us improve in this area, posing essential questions for us to consider: What kind of attention should we cast on others? What conversations should we engage in? What parts of a person's story should we pay attention to?
Driven by his curiosity and a desire for deeper human connection, Brooks offers insights and remedies for a society plagued by fragmentation, hostility, and misperception. He challenges us to see another person not just as they appear, but to recognize the larger, often hidden aspects of their being. In doing so, we not only enrich our understanding of others but also discover deeper truths about ourselves.
Actionable Steps for Cultivating Connection:
Practice Empathetic Listening: Listen to others without judgment, focusing on understanding their emotions and perspectives.
Cultivate Authentic Connections: Strive to build genuine relationships based on trust, empathy, and understanding.
Promote Community Engagement: Encourage participation in community activities and events to foster a sense of belonging and connection.